Confession #1

Am I a mercenary, God? Only after what I can get from you? Only paying attention when you have something to give? Yet can I be any other? I am so inwardly bent. A thing coiled in on itself. Is my desiring to desire you for your own sake only a play to make me feel more spiritual? I cannot be any other than what I am. So I will desire you when I am in need, praise you when you provide, and want to want you when I don’t, knowing that someday you will make my will true.

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