Behind the Scenes

I’m waiting for the world to fall
I’m waiting for the scene to change
I’m waiting when the colors come
I’m waiting to let my world come undone

-Waiting for the World to Fall by Jars of Clay

I dreamt a dream last night.  I was walking around the streets near my home when the colors began to run.  Like rain on a poster every color began to streak and blur.  Trees and houses turned into splotches of paint.  Yellow from the sun mingled with blue from the sky.  Even the colors of my own body ran down.

Then with a rustle and a rattle reality was rolled up like a parchment.  All I thought solid was simply a painting upon a canvas.  Now it had all been rolled up and stored away.

My eyes were dazzled with the most brilliant colors and motion.  When they had adjusted I found myself suspended amidst space, more naked than I could ever be without clothes.  About me moved bright and beautiful beings, rushing to and fro.  Hideous monstrosities clothed in black stench swirled about in activity.

I began to cry aloud, “Where did it all go?”  A bright one slowed and I heard these words, “It’s time to go has not come, neither have you left it.”

“Where am I then?”

“You are here.  Where else would you be?”

I heard the words but could see nothing moving on the bright thing which should produce the speech.  I also realized the bright one was tilted at an odd angle, like a crooked picture that is impossible to straighten.  Then I realized it was I who was tilted in comparison to the being.  By some means I was able to turn my body so that I was on the same plane as it.

“Look,” I heard and the brightness flashed towards a figure moving slowly along the plane I had just left.  The slumping shape came shuffling towards us.  Seeing it I struggled to keep down my vomit.  The figure was a diseased mass of black bulging veins and white gelatinous flesh.  Green puss oozed from sores which covered it.  Then it looked at me with piercing eyes.

“My God,” I exclaimed, “It’s human.”

“What is left of it,” came the words to my ears.

Then the bright one coruscated in another direction.  Purposefully striding passed us I saw a god.  Muscled legs like ivory pillars, arms like steel, chest like a solid oak, and curled hair like wool.  His face was chiseled to perfection and crowned with a graceful light.  My knees buckled and my mouth dropped in awe.

“Do not,” assaulted my senses, “He is a created being like you.”

“Now look,” and the brightness flashed towards me.  Looking down at my feet I first saw beautiful pale flesh.  Moving my gaze up the body I sighted a dark line.  Following it up to my chest I sighted a massive black tumor.  It was alive and writhing.  I tore into it with my finger nails.  Pain, searing pain, filled my senses.  I paused, and then dug in more.  Black blood squirted out as I remove chunks of tumor and diseased flesh. Only as fast as I removed it, it grew back.  Working with fury I only succeeded in covering my hands with more gore.  Breathing heavily with tears I collapsed in exhaustion.

“You will never succeed,” came the words.

“But I don’t want to end up like that thing.  This tumor, it will turn me into that, won’t it.”

“Yes, but you can’t remove it.”

“Then I am lost, absolutely lost,” and sank into a slimy heap.

“Come,” echoed in my brain.  Something raised me up and began to clean the gore from my body.  When I was clean the bright one began to transport me rapidly.  Opening my eyes I looked to see the tumor still there, pulsating.

The bright one brought me into a great hall, full of other bright ones, to the front and deposited me there.  Looking up I saw a Man.  “Do you want me to heal you,” he said.

“Yes, anything.”

“It will hurt, more than you can imagine.”

“Please do it.”

He reached down and touched the tumor with his finger, it burned.  Pain shot through my body.  He pushed harder.  Tears were forced out of me and still he pushed harder.  A scream forced its way to my lips.  He pushed harder.  The scream escaped my lips and still he increased his pressure.  I was sure he would push right through me.  My vision swam and fire burned my whole body.

“I am dying,” I thought, then nothingness.

I woke up.  The tumor was not gone, but a large portion had been removed.  The bright one was before me.

“Why did he not remove it all?” I blurted.

“If he removes it all at once it will kill you.  He has been removing it gradually, but you have been letting it grow lately.”

“Doesn’t he know what it is like to have this thing growing on you?”

“He bore it once, not only yours but all once for all.”


Unfortunately the sight of the bright one was gone.  The old parchment had been unrolled.  My eyes struggled to regain focus on the blobs of light and color.  I was in the same spot, along the street.  Nothing was left to do but continue the walk.  Before I reached home I woke up.


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