Trying to be an underachiever in life is harder then I though. There is something in me that desires to go and change the world. I see the world around me full of evils and things that need changing and I want to fix it. However, when I look at myself I get discouraged. If I have this much difficulty changing myself or even my family how can I change the world. Perhaps I have discounted the power of God to work in the world? Revivals and miraculous outpourings of God’s power do happen. The same God that does these things seems to be content to slowly plod along with me. Why would I expect him to operate differently in the world? For this reason I have lowered my expectations in life. I have been through enough attempts at revival and “change the world” campaigns to know that they fail to work as expected.
I remember my first high school youth retreat. I don’t remember how it started but at the end of our sharing time on the last day of the retreat everyone was in tears. We expected to come back to our school and turn it upside down for Jesus. Needless to say it didn’t happen. This morning I got a Facebook invite to a prayer and informational meeting for what I can only guess is another campaign. (If the person who sent it to me reads this and I am wrong then I am sorry that I ignored it.) The only aspect that has changed since high school is that more planning has been involved and strategy has been involved. I once though that was the difference that would tip the scales. Recently I have come to believe that something else is missing.
One major problem with changing the world is it means changing lives. If we can’t change our own in the way we want its not likely we will get very far in changing others. Most of us see in our own lives how hard it is to change ourselves. It’s funny that it is often easier to think about making a difference in our lives. Personally I would rather plan out some children’s or youth event than plan and implement a spiritual growth plan for my life. Even if I did finally achieve world change it frightens me to think what I would bring forth despite being done for God. A world shaped by my finite conceptions of God and corrupted sense of humanity would be a disaster. I’d rather let God do the changing and join in on what he is doing and his plan to change the world often doesn’t look like what I would expect.